This morning I feel raw, fragile, broken. Yesterday I felt strong and hopeful and energetic. At this moment, I am holding the space for myself and my emotion to allow it to flow through me. Not trying to grasp it or control it, explain it or define it. It just is; and already, saying this; I feel lighter.
This is acceptance. Acceptance has not been my strong point historically; I am much more familiar with determination. Doing, acting, creating, helping, making things happen, responding to the needs around me. Determination is wonderful for moving and doing and accomplishing what is in our power to decide and say and do. As determination and acceptance come together, there can be a dynamic balance of effort and stillness.
Acceptance is subtle, graceful, quiet. It is easy to miss. It is not resignation or despair, or giving up. Acceptance is being present in the moment, and allowing. This can make room for less crunch and more flow in how we experience ourself, our life circumstances and other people.
At this time I am recognizing and addressing health concerns that came as a shock. Appearing to me at first as an intruder. I have been practicing being present with what is in my body, in my mind and allowing emotion. I have been opening to more support from my family and friends ; instead of focusing so much on trying to be the one who is helping. There is vulnerability in acceptance.
The balance is holding determination along side acceptance. As a friend, a partner. A collaborative dance. There is that which we can control and that which occurs beyond our control. If we push so hard to feel in control we become exhausted, and tense, on the other side; if we resign ourself to the belief that we are powerless, we feel useless, as we have denied our power and impact.
Ebb and flow, the wave surges forward with great power, and recedes gently.
We can stop, be still and quiet and notice our breath. Letting go of trying and just coming back to being.